Coloring Life - Choices

"Coloring Life: A Tapestry of Past, Present, and Future"

In the silent tranquility of my twilight years, my fingers danced with colored pencils and hues, breathing life into blank pages. Once used to navigate the rigidity of a 9-5 routine, they now traced the lines of intricate patterns, igniting a newfound sense of liberation. From monotonous spreadsheets to vibrant mandalas, the transition was a blissful escape, a rewarding respite from decades of work-related obligations.

The act of coloring, a simple yet profound task, served as a mental sanctuary. It offered me the right amount of distraction to allow my mind to untangle the knots of past experiences and contemplate what the future may hold. The vivid colors I chose and the intricate designs I filled were not just aesthetic choices; they reflected my mental state, helping me process my accumulated wisdom while dreaming of possibilities yet to unfurl.

A decade into this self-reflection and creative exploration, I have come to see life in a different light. Time, once a scarce commodity, now flows leisurely, continuously filling the buckets of past, present, and future. Each day adds to the narrative of my life, accumulating experiences in the past bucket, while the future remains a tantalizing enigma, swirling with the mystery of what might come. The present, though fleeting, is no less important. It is the canvas on which I color, the conduit that connects the past and future.

Coloring inside the lines is a metaphor for my present choices, each hue, each stroke shaping my reality. The lines I breach symbolize the unknown, the future, filled with outcomes of the choices I make. And as quickly as the present becomes the past, the future becomes the present, adding another layer to the growing tapestry of my existence.

This ceaseless cycle of time is a testament to life’s immense creative potential. It's a constant reminder that every moment, whether filled with clarity or clouded by uncertainty, is a vital part of my personal journey. Each bucket, while separate in its essence, intertwines to form a unique narrative that is my own.

Amid the flux of past, present, and future, the act of coloring lends me solace and strength. It symbolizes my faith in God’s divine design. Each colored pattern I complete is a testament to His love - an acknowledgment of lessons learned from the past. The act of coloring itself, a leap of faith in the choices I make in the present. And the untouched spaces, the uncolored lines, they hold the promise of hope for the future, always ready to be filled with new experiences, new colors.

This dance of colors and time has become my sanctuary. As I color, I am reminded of life's endless possibilities, the constant flow, and the chance to shape the canvas of my life. With each stroke, I'm coloring not just on paper, but also on the canvas of life, painting my past, present, and future with shades of love, faith, and hope.

My Challenges with Patience and Kindness

"Navigating the Twin Pillars of Agape Love: Patience and Kindness"

The concept of love, particularly Agape Love, often surfaces as a central theme in my writings. To comprehend the profound essence of this term, let's delve into its roots. Agape, stemming from Greek etymology, is used in the New Testament to represent the fatherly love of God towards humanity, and the reciprocal love of humans for God. Standing at the pinnacle of love types, Agape Love is distinguished from eros, or erotic love, and philia, or fraternal love, in scripture. The cornerstone of Agape Love, as I perceive it, is a harmonious blend of patience and kindness. This belief draws inspiration from the biblical verse from 1 Corinthians 13:4: "Love is patient and kind."

In retrospect, evaluating my journey on this path of Agape Love, I find that I've stumbled and risen multiple times, slowly inching closer to the ideal. To begin with, let's examine kindness. If I were to grade myself on this virtue, I would give a modest score of 75%. Going back in time, my younger self, until the age of 60, was often overshadowed by a volatile temper, which my daughter humorously dubbed as "The Barnett Rage." Unsurprisingly, my father bore a temper far fiercer than mine. Consequently, my interactions during those years were not always steeped in kindness. I estimate that I exhibited kindness about 75% of the time, but bouts of anger would often tarnish these efforts.

As I reflect on my recent past at age 76, I recall moments when I let my frustration get the better of me. Instances with a gardener and a pool technician come to mind, where I felt their work was subpar and responded angrily. However, such lapses have grown infrequent, indicating that I've journeyed away from my past struggles with kindness. My transformation is far from complete, but I've made significant strides in becoming more consistently kind. This improvement has earned the approval of my wife, who affirms my kindness most of the time.

Turning to the second virtue, patience, I find myself lagging. For instance, during our routine evening Rosary prayers, I often find myself irked by my wife's delayed appearances due to her preoccupations with the mirror. Does the onus of change lie with her or me? I believe it falls on me to cultivate greater patience. However, translating this realization into practice has been challenging. Consequently, my wife frequently perceives me as impatient.

Amid these self-assessments, my pursuit of embodying Agape Love remains undeterred. As a devout Christian and Contemplative, my love for God is fervent and unwavering. However, my journey towards expressing this love towards my neighbor by being patient and kind continues. I believe we all share this quest for self-improvement, continually striving to be better embodiments of Agape Love.

Our commitment to progress is paramount, for mere effort without noticeable change is futile. We must be wary of falling into the trap of using our humanity as an excuse for stagnation. Let's turn to prayer, seeking divine strength to bolster our efforts to grow in kindness and patience, recalling the biblical promise: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Though attaining the virtues of patience and kindness does not come naturally to me, I persist in my endeavors to grow in Agape Love. Each day presents a new opportunity to strive toward becoming a better Christian. While I am yet to reach where I aspire to be, I find solace in my sincere efforts and the knowledge that God recognizes them. Ultimately, it's our honest attempts to grow in Agape Love that hold the most value.

When we consider our journey towards Agape Love, it's important to reflect on our interactions and behaviors, identifying areas where we've been successful and areas where improvement is needed. For me, temper was a long-standing hurdle, but over time, I learned to manage it better, becoming kinder in the process. However, I continue to struggle with patience. To overcome these challenges, it's not enough to merely acknowledge them; we must actively work on transforming ourselves, and developing a stronger sense of patience and kindness.

Remember, the journey of personal growth is a marathon, not a sprint. It is filled with ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks, lessons learned, and wisdom gained. Even when we stumble, it is important to get back up and continue moving forward, using those experiences as stepping stones toward becoming better versions of ourselves.

The path of patience and kindness, the path of Agape Love, is not always easy, but it is undoubtedly rewarding. Each step we take on this path brings us closer to becoming the people we aspire to be and strengthens our relationship with God and others.

When we strive to live a life of Agape Love, we not only create a positive impact on our own lives but also contribute to a kinder, more compassionate world. Our efforts can inspire others around us to embark on their own journeys of personal growth, leading to a ripple effect of positive change.

In conclusion, while we all have our unique challenges in embodying patience and kindness, it is through conscious effort, self-reflection, and seeking divine strength that we can progress on our path of Agape Love. Every day presents a new opportunity for growth, and by embracing these opportunities, we can become better versions of ourselves, reflecting the virtues of patience and kindness more consistently. I am still a work in progress, but I am committed to this journey and derive great joy from my honest attempts to live a life of Agape Love. After all, that is what truly matters.

The Dreamer and the Realist

"Dreamers and Realists: Sustaining a Symphony of Aspirations and Realities in a Collective Voyage"

Life unfurls as an intricate interplay between two profound roles we continuously find ourselves oscillating between - the dreamer who envisions boundless possibilities and the realist who discerns the tangible threads of reality. Striking a harmony between these two entities is a delicate art, akin to a tightrope walker maintaining poise between two realities. Dreams breathe vitality into our existence, imbuing us with a sense of purpose and an affirmation of our intrinsic worth. Yet, it is the realist's wisdom that anchors these dreams within the bedrock of truth, ensuring they do not drift aimlessly in the winds of fantasy.

It's in this vibrant confluence of dreams and reality where we discern the significance of community - a shared space that nurtures and navigates the ebb and flow of our aspirations. It is through collective wisdom that we continue to inspire new dreams when previous ones have completed their lifecycle, ensuring we remain grounded to the realities of life while reaching for the stars.

Communities serve as safe havens that guide us in shedding past burdens that we may erroneously clutch onto. They act as custodians of our dreams, helping us discern which dreams have served their purpose and need to be gently relinquished to the annals of time.

Within this nurturing collective, we are empowered to rediscover dormant dreams that have patiently awaited the right moment to unfurl. We learn to recognize overlooked or bypassed dreams that re-emerge, albeit in a new avatar, as fresh opportunities brimming with potential.

Communities furnish us with the courage to embrace dreams, now adorned in fresh emotions, unraveling themselves as beacons of hope and vessels of longing. It's within this shared sphere where dreams - as simple as a fleeting moment of joy or a divine whisper of serenity - can be acknowledged and celebrated. These moments of shared dreaming bring us incrementally closer to the sublime intersection of the ethereal and the tangible.

"Nurturing the Interplay of Dreams and Reality" – Straddling the roles of dreamers and realists, we come to recognize that while dreams offer our lives a sense of purpose, they must be firmly rooted in the fertile soil of truth. Navigating this intricate dance requires the shared wisdom of a community. Together, we journey through uncharted dreams, retain our tether to reality, let go of redundant weights, and bid adieu to outdated dreams. In achieving this, we sustain a harmonious dance between the ethereal realm of dreams and the tangible realities of life, propelling our collective voyage forward on a tide of shared dreams and grounded realities.